OK, here I am in the middle of Round 7. I guess it's good to be more than halfway through this. It'll get easier to see the end though when I get closer to it.
Monday when I came home I just headed to bed as usual. Around 6:00 or so Dave offered me some Jell-O. My stomach felt unsettled but I said OK, I'd try it. Such a sweet husband. I was so tired that I didn't want to open my eyes and the chewing and the swallowing of the Jell-O was as much as I could manage. He spoon fed me the whole thing. What a wonderful guy. Later he brought me an Ensure. Between the Jell-O and the Ensure I was feeling better. Not good enough to get up, but good enough to go to sleep. I actually slept well that night. Actually I was able to go to sleep when I asked Dave to come up and lie down with me for a while. Just lying with my head on his chest, hearing him breathe and hearing his heart beat quietened things down inside my head and allowed me to sleep.
Tuesday morning I got up, drank a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice. And then a small glass of chocolate milk. Read the paper, then headed to bed, where I was for most of the day. David brought me another Jell-O and Ensure meal. Later I got up and went downstairs, drank some water, ate 1/2 of a tamale (which I helped make on Saturday!) and watched TV. When I went to bed I was able to sleep well again.
Today I woke up, drank the OJ that was waiting for me beside my bed. Then went downstairs for some chocolate milk. Read the paper, showered and then we went to have my pump removed. I came home, went to bed to watch some TV and took a nap (I also ate a vegetable tamale with some salsa and sour cream). Here I am now updating things and drinking another glass of milk.
Last time I started feeling a bit blue-sy, a little depressed. It's because out of each 2-week cycle I have more bad days than I have good days. The oncologist offered me some anti-depressant pills but for now I will decline them. I don't want to commit to taking chemicals for 6 months when I will be finished with this in 3. And I don't want to even out my mood, so that not only do I not feel "down" I also would not feel "up". I don't want to miss out on feeling happy. So, I'll just see how it goes and resist the drugs.
Everything that I am feeling is normal, I am told.
